My life is saturated with pretenses.
I invent excuses to spend time with friends. I invent excuses to speak with those I care about. I invent excuses to write.
Tumblr is a way to express my opinions. But it is edited, refined, and altered. I want a bit more ugliness, a bit more truth.
I wrote for myself. I wrote for garnering respect from peers. I wrote for a plea for attention.
The truth is I am addicted to having existential crises, but moreso, discussing those issues with trusted people. I’m not deeming that as a good or bad thing, but I realize now that I probably shouldn’t cheapen my own emotional growth by whoring myself out for red hearts next to my posts.
I think now I’ll just write to write. No points, no validation, no reblogs. I’ll still seek social acknowledgment and respect, but in a different medium.
I still think Tumblr is a fine medium for writing, but more importantly, introspection. I have just decided to partake in it less. In due time I’ll probably stop altogether. Additionally, I am fully aware of the irony of posting about posting less (akin to LAST POST EVER GUIZ TELL ME TO NOT LEAVE AND MAKE ME FEEL IMPORTANT).
It’s been a damn good year.
Thanks for listening.